Image by jcolman via Flickr
R and I went on a retreat day yesterday. It wasn’t overly his cup of tea (not that he drinks tea) but it was very nice having him there with me.
We went to Green Blade, so called because of the hymn by John Crum:
Now the green blade riseth
from the buried grain,
wheat that in the dark earth
many days has lain;
Love lives again,
that with the dead has been:
Love is come again,
like wheat that springeth green.
The day was lead by Canon Ian Morgan and was entitled; “Embracing Distraction” and was all about finding that silent space with God through listening. He used Beethoven and other classical music to make his points.
I always thought that going on retreat was a process of emptying, of leaving the world behind to go to another place in order to meet with God and in that place, for a while, setting aside life to find Him.
But yesterday I found myself filled rather than emptied. I felt like the whole of life came with me, and during the day bombshells of new understanding kept exploding all around me.
Each thing I was taught yesterday acted like a bridge into my life on which the Spirit was walking over. I have discovered that minute moments of silence can be as priceless as the long times of solitude I have longed for. That as long as we aim to give all we have, it doesn’t matter if what we have is small.
I found that instead of having to loose myself, I have found myself, right here with God, just as I am.
Most beautiful of all, where as before I wondered how I am to “do God” as a married woman, I find Him here in the middle of who R and I are – and who we are is ok too.
Instead of absence, listening and in that, the presence of God – even if He is silent, He is more present that anything else in all of life.
And instead of distraction, maybe, finally, a closer walk with God, right here in the ordinariness of daily life.